ghosting someone is actually a good deed
by Anna Loki
Imagine this: You saw a person for a hot second. I’ve been out of work multiple times (three times if you go back the time I accidentally FaceTimed while going to the bathroom, and they stayed on the line until I was completely It ended just to let you know that they were, in fact, listening the whole time).
Regardless of this occasional intimacy, you’ll want to end things. Perhaps there is a particular reason. They chew with their mouth open. Or maybe you just feel like this whole thing isn’t going to work… and that’s okay too!
Either way, you’re faced with a choice: to ghost…or try to explain the reasons why you think your lives would be better separate from yours together.
But before you get your fingers crossed and start running down the compelling five-paragraph essay style you haven’t revisited since middle school (latching with soul, pathos, and slogans, of course), let me make the case in defense of shadows.
Choosing not to reply to a text will send a specific message, clearer than any other text message about you feelings Maybe.
“I’d call them, or ask to meet them for a quick coffee!” You may respond if you are against shadows. My question to you is: Why? Do you enjoy pain? Do you drown in free time? Do you hate yourself and hate them by thinking that the easiest course of action is really to sit down and work on all the reasons why you don’t like each other? ”
To be perfectly honest, the shades’ biggest plus is the absolute lack of effort needed to get it done successfully. It’s simpler than you think: just go to the thread and delete everything. One small pass and you are free! It will be as free as your schedule from the time you have saved without having to talk in tears about your position on the floor.
Rejection is the dish best served silently.
Now, to be clear, I’m only pro-shadows if you’re in the finer stages of dating, which is when we usually hear about shades. If you are married, in a long-term relationship with Uber, or have children with someone – these rules do not apply. This is only for people in the relationship defining stage as you know.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Are not the shadows cruel and insensitive to the depth of human feelings?
No. Let me tell you why.
As human beings, we possess many skills of expression, yet playfully, we lack the ability to fully understand the feelings of others. We look at the world from our own perspective. This turns the breakup conversation into painful, tormenting circles in which the same question, “Who are we?” is asked. It is repeated so many times that it loses meaning. When it comes to matters of the heart: the more complex the speech, the greater the space for discussion, the greater the space for emotional torture.
Shadows is the most ethical and moral solution. For both parties involved!
and I understand. Nobody wants to be left in reading mode – unanswered even if the person saw your message. If you’re not the one doing the shadows, the act might be a blow to our ego, knocking the wind out of our sails, making you look in the mirror and scream “You idiot! You miserable idiot!” But after the instant sting subsides, you’ll find that you don’t care anymore…because you I forgot! I mean who – which About the argument of the past 7 hours you’ve had with your FWB (your friend with benefits) about why “this just doesn’t work for you anymore.”
Joking aside, why do we act like shadows as an odd concept when we engage in behavior constantly? I know a lot of people who mess around with their student loan payments. Don’t get me started on health care bills. And what about taxes?! Local elections?!? That Instagram DM from the girl who went to high school with who wants to sell you essential oils??!?
We all know how to visualize effectively.
One could roughly say that shadows are fundamental to human nature: ingrained in our instincts deep in our DNA, right next to our involuntary breathing during sleep. When we learned about the selection of cavemen airline On fight When we encountered a savage beast, we did not shame them for being emotionally immature and cowardly. No! We said, “Good for you, make an informed decision and weigh the risks!”
I am not saying that communication and honesty are not the hallmarks of a successful and worthwhile relationship. In fact, I affirm it wholeheartedly.
You deserve someone who gives you the time of the day, and it’s easier to assess who is—and who isn’t—when those who don’t intend to commit simply leave the stage. Don’t consider him a ghost, but instead a disgruntled actor who embraces his artistic license.
Anna Loki is a middle school science teacher and writer who lives in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post and The Hill.